100 Things I Learned the Hard Way

3rd Installment

21) If you want to understand the concept of how a box kite works, drive a 15 passenger van through the mountains in high wind.

22) Never stock up on sauerkraut ~ even if it's on a terrific sale and y2k is an iminent threat. (We only just unloaded our last can!)

23) Moving from young parenthood to old parenthood you will come to understand the transition from cheap toilet paper and state-of-the-art paper towels, to cheap paper towels and cashmere toilet paper.

24) If you want a plant to be a groundcover, act like you hate it, never water it, and call it bad names. "Lovin' up" a plant just makes it want to be an only child.

25) You can teach your children to love one another. You can teach them to respect one another. But, you cannot force them to like one another. Certain personalities will just not mesh, no matter how much you want them to.

26) The best possible medical care you will get from yourself. Whether you believe in natural or conventional medicine, if you are not well-armed with information, aware of your own body and its symptoms (or your loved one's), and ready to go to the mat for what you believe to be the right course of action, you're not safe with any health provider. Always get a second opinion. And a third. And maybe a fourth. Do your homework. But, mostly, rely on God; He's in control, anyway.

27) Never, I repeat, never, use an inflatable air mattress to raft down a river. And, I would like to use this opportunity to publicly thank my sons' guardian angels for a most fortuitous rescue when certain people thought this was a good idea, because it was cheaper than a proper raft.

28) God did not make many Saints Catherine of Sienna. Or Saints Francis of Assisi. Most of us are meant to follow the simple, steep paths to Heaven followed by Saints like Theresa Martin and Ven. Matt Talbot.

29) It's not a good idea to leave the toothbrush you just used to clean out that yucky stuff behind the faucets out on top of the sink where a two year old can get it.

30) Never assume you understand someone else's motives and challenges. Only God does.