The Wedding

Pt. III
Blurry Pictures of the Main Event
(Hopefully, I'll get some better ones to share at some point...)

Nicole's bridesmaids were her sister, Beth (second from right), her friends Cassie and Ariana (far left), and our old friend (who became Nicole's good friend, too), Alena (third from right). Her oldest and dearest friend, Brooke (far right) was her Maid of Honor.



Paul's Groomsmen were his two brothers, Jon and Dominic, one old friend from his childhood, Luke (third from the right), and one new friend from college, Ryan (far right).On his immediate right is his Man of Honor, his brother, Kevin.

From Where I Sat

Its not being a part of a Nuptial Mass, the ceremony was over in a wink. I still can't believe it. One minute Dan and I were being ushered into our seats in the front pew, near Dan's parents and my parents. And, then, in a blurr, all the boys were there in front of us, lined up this side of the Communion rail: Kevvy, so broad-shouldered, looking so relaxed; Jon, so attentive, tending to our little ring-bearer, Gabe, next to him; our good friend, Luke, whom the boys have known all their lives; our Dominicky, such a tall little brother, uncharacteristically un-jovial, Ryan, one of Paul's college friends that everyone adopted immediately into the family... Little Gabey so solemn and collected; I was so proud of him standing there with his big brothers -+- So proud of them all, I struggled to hold back the tears... I mean, for heaven's sake, the Bride hadn't even arrived yet! -+- Before I knew it, though, the beautiful bridesmaids were processing and lining up opposite the boys -+- Everyone was smiling so broadly, not a misstep was made, (though the girls had worried so much about slipping or tripping) -+- Then our three little girls, Theresa, Cathy, and Anna, slipped down the aisle, their hands folded like little angels, sweet little junior bridesmaids -+- Anna, though, caught her Aunt's eye, and (being Anna), smiled sweetly, and purposefully at her Aunt's camera, waiting, waiting, waiting for the flash... And, paying no attention to where she was going, she almost walked into the side of the front pew where I was sitting, until I put my hand out and directed her back out into action. -+- Sweet little Allie, the flower girl, walked in next, close to her Mommy, Nicole's sister, Beth. She dutifully scattered her bright atumn leaves and rose petals -+- scarlet and yellow -+- and when she happened past her family in the pews, she piped up, as casually as if it were all an everyday affair: "Hi, Daddy!" -+- Everyone laughed -+- At some point the music changed, and it was all such a blurr, that I cannot now tell you what it changed from and to -+- And all eyes turn to the back of the church -+- There was Nicole, prettier than a princess, smiling her beautiful, beautiful smile -+- She was the radiant bride you hear tell about -+- Next to her Daddy, so solemn and handsome beside her -+- (She looks so much like her Dad!) -+- And in what seemed like an instant and what seemed like twenty-two years, Nicole was down the aisle, and passing in front of me -+- I glanced across the aisle to Nicole's Mom, whose teary eye caught my teary eye. -+- We gave each other a thumb's up -+- And turning forward, there was the whole group in the front of the Church -+- All the groomsmen and bridesmaides looking on, Father and the altar server, standing in front, Paul waiting nearby as Nicole approached on her Dad's arm -+- Such a soft, dear look on Paul's face as he watched his bride come near to the altar -+- Nicole's Dad looked Paul right in the eye, then, and shook his hand, and put Nicole's hand in Paul's -+- They (Paul and Nicole) looked at each other and smiled, then turned to step up on the step of the altar near Father -+- Father smiled his trademark smile, and we could see that he was saying something privately to Paul and Nicole -+- And then, the ceremony began...

First, Father gave a wonderful, short talk about the responsibilities of the married life and the necessity and joy of self sacrifice in a successful union. He reminded them that God is the Third Party in a Catholic marriage. And, I'm sure there was more, of course, and it was all perfect. Then, he proceeded with the vows, as such:

(Or a close approximation, thereof...)

The Rite of Marriage

The bride and groom stand before the priest, just outside the sanctuary. The groom stands on the Epistle side of the church (the right from the point of view of the congregation), and the bride stands on the Gospel side. The priest then asks the following question of the groom:

Father G.: Wilt thou take N., here present, for thy lawful wife, according to the rite of our holy Mother the Church?

Paul: I will

Then the priest asks the bride:

Father G.: Wilt thou take Paul, here present, for thy lawful husband, according to the rite of our holy Mother the Church?

Nicole: I will.

Having obtained their mutual consent, the priest asks the man and the woman join their right hands. Then they pledge themselves each to the other as follows, repeating the words after the priest. The man begins:

I, Paul Davis, take thee, Nicole B, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

The woman follows:
I, Nicole, take thee, Paul Davis, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

The priest then says:
I join you together in marriage, in the Name of the Father, + and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.Ego conjugo vos in matrimonium, in nomine Patris, + et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.

The priest sprinkles the couple with Holy Water. Then he blesses the bride's ring, saying:
V. Our help is in the Name of the Lord. V. Adjutorium nostrum in nomine Domini.

R. Who made heaven and earth.R. Qui fecit caelum et terram.

V. O Lord, hear my prayer.V. Domine, exaudi orationem meam.

R. And let my cry come unto Thee.R. Et clamor meus ad te veniat.

V. The Lord be with you.V. Dominus vobiscum.

R. And with Thy spirit.R. Et cum spiritu tuo.

Let us pray. Bless, + O Lord, this ring, which we bless + in Thy name, that she who shall wear it, keeping true faith unto her spouse, may abide in Thy peace and in obedience to Thy will, and ever live in mutual love. Through Christ our Lord.R. Amen.

Then the priest sprinkles the ring (which is considered a sacramental) with holy water in the form of a cross; and the bridegroom, having received the ring from the hand of the priest, places it on the third finger of the left hand of the bride, saying the following:
With this ring I thee wed and I plight unto thee my troth. ( Paul and Nicole both exchanged rings, one with another, though, I don't think these words are the exact translation they used...)
Then the priest says:In the name of the Father + and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.In nomine Patris, + et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.

This done, the priest says:
V. Confirm, O God, that which Thou hast wrought in us. V. Confirma hoc, Deus, qod operatus es in nobis.

R. From Thy holy temple, which is in Jerusalem. R. A templo sancto tuo quod est in Jerusalem.

V. Lord, have mercy. V. Kyrie eleison.

R. Christ, have mercy. R. Christe eleison.

V. Lord, have mercy. V. Kyrie eleison.

Our Father, etc. (inaudibly). Pater noster (secreto).

V. And lead us not into temptation. V. Et ne nos inducas in tentationem.

R. But deliver us from evil. R. Sed libera nos a malo.

V. Save Thy servants. V. Salvos fac servos tuos.

R. Who hope in Thee, O my God. R. Deus meus, sperantes in te.

V. Send them help, O Lord, from Thy holy place.V. Mitte eis, Domine, auxilium de sancto.

R. And defend them out of Sion.R. Et de Sion tuere eos.

V. Be unto them, Lord, a tower of strength.V. Esto eis, Domine, turris fortitudinis.

R.: A facie inimici.R. From the face of the enemy.

V. Domine exaudi orationem meam.V. O Lord, hear my prayer.

R. Et clamor meus ad te veniat.R. And let my cry come unto Thee.

.V. The Lord be with you.V. Dominus vobiscum.

R. And with Thy spirit.R. Et cum spiritu tuo.

Let us pray.

Look down with favor, O Lod, we beseech Thee, upon these Thy servants, and graciously protect this, Thine ordinance, whereby Thou hast provided for the propagation of mankind; that they who are joined together by Thy authority may be preserved by Thy help; through Christ our Lord. Amen.

~+~+~+~+~+~

Then Father shook Paul's and Nicole's hands and motioned them onward with outspread palms.

And, in a flash, they were gone down the aisle. All smiles, and a blur of black and white, scarlet and yellow. Cameras flashing all around them like paparazzi.

It's no wonder all our pictures came out blurry; the whole wedding seemed to happen at the speed of light. Zip, zip, zip, zip, and all the bridesmaids and groomsmen were down the aisle. And the ushers were standing near our pew reminding us that it was our turn to exit. Holy cow! Already?

Wedding Asides:

* During the vows, I couldn't help but be touched at how Nicole and Paul held hands, stroking one another's fingers, almost imperceptibly. Nicole told me later, though, that she was trying to poke Paul with her fingernails at the first words of the vows to get him to look at her instead of at Father. I guess it worked, because he did turn his head.

* She also told me that the personal advice that Father gave when she and Paul first stepped up next to them was something to the effect of: Watch out, you guys, don't step backwards or you'll fall off the step.

* The three junior bridesmaids and Gabe, the ring bearer, were instructed during the rehearsal the day before the wedding to walk around and sit in the front pew after they had done their "things." Unfortunately, though, with three grown up pairs of fannies in the front pew (Dan and me and two sets of grandparents), their four little bodies did not even come close to fitting. (What were we thinking when we told them to do that?) They apparently found places to squoosh in somewhere in the front pew area, but I still don't know exactly where they sat. If they made a rustle or fuss, though, I didn't hear it. But I think I was otherwise distracted.

* Speaking of the three junior bridesmaides... Remember all the trouble I went to to make their three little wreath/veil/hat thingies? Well, when all was said and done, and I had packed the car, checked my list, and checked it twice... I forgot them at home. Thankfully, Dan had time to go back and get them and return in time for the girls to have them for the official wedding photos before the wedding.

* Then, after the wedding, the girls took off their little wreath/veil/hat thingies and left them in Dan's parents' rental car. I'm not sure where they are now...

* We had the worst dickens of a time, too, with the men's boutonniers. I had given them very little thought, I have to admit, concentrating all my worries before the wedding on getting the altar arrangements and the girls' bouquets just right. Little did I realize what a pain in the neck they were going to be, though, or I'd have given them a lot more thought. Though the yellow and red roses we used were fresh and lovely, the stems turned out to be particularly brittle, and two or three of them snapped when we tried to pin them on. There was a lot of pinning and re-pinning of boutonniers. I fully expected one of them to pop off during the ceremony, but "Thank-you, God! none of them did. It was all good. The girls' bouquets held together, too.

* The whole wedding, start to finish, took less than an hour. Maybe even closer to a half hour.

* The rumor is that, after Nicole processed out of the church with Paul after the wedding, as soon as she got into the vestibule, she threw her arms in the air and exclaimed: "Now Let's Party!" But, I don't know if I believe that or not... &;o)

Next Installment: The Reception

The Wedding

Part II
How the Young Women Got Ready

Boys and girls are different. Special and wonderful in each their own ways, but undeniably -- worlds different.

While the boys were out eating breakfast burritos on the morning of the wedding, the girls were having their hair and makeup professionally "done."

Later on, while the boys strode about looking for something useful and important to do, the girls were primping and snapping and pinning, and shooing small children out from under their dressing tables.

The girls brought baskets and bags and boxes full of every conceivable tool for beautification and comfort, from toothbrushes to curling irons to extra panty hose. The boys brought nothing but their tuxedo bags and themselves.

It took the boys ten minutes to get dressed and twenty minutes to figure out how to put on cuff links. It tooks the girls an hour to get dressed and ten minutes to decide it was time to leave the dressing room.

A half hour before the ceremony, the girls were smoothing the worry off their foreheads and checking for loose threads and wandering straps; the boys were drinking beer and debating the best way to pin their boutonniers on so they wouldn't wiggle when they walked.

The boys guffawed loudly. The girls spoke in hushed tones. The boys talked about everything but the wedding. The girls talked about nothing but the wedding.

The girls were nervous as cats before the music started and the boys were puffed up with bravado and manly purpose, but...

When it came time to walk down the aisle, the girls moved with the beauty, dignity and grace natural to womanhood in its rightful place in the universe, while the boys watched from the front of the church, consciously holding their jaws in place -- suddenly nervous as cats.

Viva la difference!

* Since I'm the Mama of the Groom, I was spending more time with the boys and my own small children, so got even fewer pictures of the girls before the wedding than I did of the boys. Here are some, though -- mostly mine, but a couple gleaned from the website Paul set up for the family to compile and share pictures on. You can see from these first few shots that the little ones naturally gravitated to where all the pretty girls were... Anna thought they looked better than princesses.

Here's Nicole's neice and flower girl, adorable Allie, providing musical accompaniment in the girls' dressing room.

Theresa likes Allie's dress...

...And so does William.

Just a few more preparations and visiting with friends a short while before the wedding.

(In a cold room -- See Nicole's red sweater?)

Time's getting short.

Talking it through.

Deep Breath.

Ready.

Next Installments:

The Wedding (Pretty blurry pictures, because my camera was giving my brother troubles --but I might be able to get some more from somebody...)

Then The Reception (Also some blurry pictures because the lights were low and everyone kept moving... but but again, I may be able to get some from someone who's a more competent photographer than I am.)

And, finally (as soon as I get them) the Official Wedding Pictures, from Nicole's Uncle Jerry, the wedding photographer.

Am I boring y'all yet? This is starting to remind me of a dreaded slideshow presentation.

The Wedding

Part I

How the Young Men Got Ready:

The day of the wedding dawned cold and frosty. All the boys in the house (and I) rose early to attend Mass. The roads were extremely icy, though, so only half made it to the church on time for Holy Communion. But, we were just glad to have made it in at all. Accidents lined the roadways everywhere, and there was apparently a fifty car pile up south of town! We all said enough prayers on the way in, I think, that it may have come close to making up for missing Mass. Thankfully, everyone arrived safely, and the roads cleared up before early afternoon -- in time for everyone to arrive safely for the 4 pm ceremony.

Upon arriving, the boys all gathered to exchange slippery road stories and jokes in the vestibule:

Here's the groom. I know I'm biased because I'm his mom, but isn't he so handsome?

Gosh. Aren't they all? How did they get so tall?

After a little reconnoitering, I got to go out with my sons and three of our good friends to breakfast down the road.

(After breakfast, I finished the brides' and bridesmaids' bouquets and helped get the church decorated and the children's clothes arranged before they arrived with Dan to be dressed. We thought it was wise not to bring all the Littles to the church too early on...)
L-R: Kevin, Carlos, and Paul

L-R: Jon, Justin, and Chris

L-R: Dominic and Kevin (again)

Our boys, already in their tuxes a couple hours early, plus Tim (in the blue shirt) and Justin (I think) practicing in the choir loft. (Carlos is likely at the organ just out of this shot.)

Groomsman, Ryan, helping Paul with his pesky buttonier, while all the groomsmen, Grandpa (far right) and Dad (not shown) share some beer in the church kitchen a half hour or so before the wedding. (I got this picture while ducking in to grab pins for the girls. Dan gave me a taste of his "cherry wheat" beer, and I was promptly shooed out...)
""I have to wear this? Can't I give it to someone instead?"
Ushers Extraordinaire, Ben and Ed, setting out the runner.
The groom.

Next Installment: How the Young Women Got Ready...

Update: Weddings and Birthdays

Our family had its offical start on October 5th, the busiest day of the year for birthdays, when our son, Paul, was born. We've always thought it was funny that he was born on the busiest day of the year for birthdays, seeing as we don't generally follow fads. We consoled ourselves, though, that it was the only conventional thing we'd ever done. Until... we almost hit that date again fourteen years later, when Cathy was born on October 6th. I guess the odds were just with us.

Paul turned 22 five days before his wedding date, this coming Saturday, October 10th. Catherine just turned nine (even though, I can't get it out of my mind that she should be turning eight! I've been getting it wrong all day, but Catherine is indulgent, bless her...) We'll be squeezing in a birthday party Wednesday night, after a turkey and stuffing dinner, complete with cranberry sauce (at Cathy's request).

Olive You, Cathy! You nine-year-old!

Thursday is the day of the Bachelor and Bachelorette parties, and the day I go arrange flowers and bouquets. Friday is the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Saturday morning, Paul will meet all his brothers (and the rest of his closest friends and family) for Mass (as we won't be having the Nuptial Mass since Nicole hasn't been Baptized yet). Then wedding pictures will be at 1:00 and the wedding will be at 4:00. (Deep breath.)

Am I ready?

Well...

+ The flowers are ordered, the boys' tuxes are getting picked up tomorrow.

+ The rehearsal dinner is arranged.

+ I've got all the little ones' clothes pressed and hanging together in my closet. I'm only missing good black socks for the little boys, and I'm hoping to get a hold of some of those in the next couple of days.

+ The girls' dresses are all ready, except that their little satin bolero jackets haven't arrived yet. I haven't given up hope on them, but if they don't turn up tomorrow I'm getting St. Anthony on it -- or giving up and wrapping tulle around their shoulders for the wedding (I'm trying hard to not get stressed about it).

+ I've got all but one of the girls' chapel veil wreath-head-thingies made.

+ I found a dress and shoes I like. And finally found a necklace and earrings that I liked and could afford. I expect I'll do my own hair, nails, etc. (I'm terrified at the thought, though. I'm not very good at it! Any suggestions?)

+ We've got all the autumn leaf decorations for the pew-ends finished, be-ribboned, and arranged in a box to take on Saturday morning.

+ In fact, I've got everything arranged in baskets that needs to be taken to the Church, from flower arranging items, to for primping and prepping paraphernalia.

+ I'm trying to enjoy the few minutes I get to see my boys in between errands...

+ I'm trying to get used to the idea that my little boy will be a married man in four days (gasp!)...

But, yeah, I think we'll make it. I haven't frazzled yet, anyway. Maybe I won't. Maybe I won't? (Say a prayer!)

*BTW: I may or may not get back on here before next week... I'm woefully behind in all my correspondence, but I'm hoping everyone's understanding. I'm looking forward to catching up on everything in the post wedding languor I'm planning...

* BTW, also: That's not Paul and Nicole's cake up there. Their's is a simple, elegant one, with an Autumn leaf motif. I love it! I can't wait to post some pictures of it after the wedding. I took the picture of the cake shown here, though, at the bakery where we got their cake. I thought the glass globes with flowers between the layers was a pretty nifty twist on a wedding cake. Don't you think it's kind of pretty?

Update: Wedding Dresses, Etc.

Pt. II
The little girls, who will be flower girl helpers and bubble girls, etc. needed some kind of chapel veil that would coordinate with their black and ivory dresses .  I looked around and the cheapest I could find were $12 -- each.  And of course we couldn't have that...  So I bought the materials at Hobby Lobby to make our own.  Since all the ribbon was half off and tulle was only .76 a yard, everything cost less than $10 and I have enough goodies to make five or six flowered wreaths if I had a mind to.  I'm just making three, though, for the littlest girls.  Tonight I finished the wreaths, except for the baby's breath which I'll buy fresh the Thursday before the wedding. Tomorrow, I'll work on the tulle. So, less than three bucks a piece and less than an hour to make each.  I'll take pictures when I'm finished.

An Update: Dresses for the Wedding

Part I

So, mothers of teenage girls, you know the problem.  How do you find a dress for your daughter that is appropriate to her age, modest, and meets her fourteen-year-old criteria for coolness?  It's not easy. Looking in hindsight, I'd say it's durn near impossible.  But, we didn't know this when we started out yesterday afternoon. We diddybopped hopefully through Dress Barn, J.C. Penney's, Kohl's, and TJ Maxx; they're known for having a goodly stock of dresses and are somewhat in our price range...  But we didn't have any luck in any of their stores.  The best we could do was try to figure out which dresses that hit below Michelle's knees might be ok if we found a little bolero jacket or light sweater to cover her cold, bare shoulders.  (Sheesh!) 

We didn't give up, though.  I let out the drawstring on my checkbook, we took a deep breath, and started out through the higher end stores. Surely we'd find something pretty and appropriate in one of them!

So determinedly we set out.  We still had a spring in our steps when we hit C.J. Banks and Coldwater Creek, but finding nothing, we began to drag by the time we got to Black and White and Chico and trudged out empty handed. At that point, pretty much all our resources had been exhausted. We knew from long experience that we wouldn't find anything at Walmart, KMart, and Target...  And I didn't dare go to the ritzy mall with the Macy's and Nordstrom's.  Michelle would have to wear a dress made from our living room drapes before we did that.  Alas!  (Heavy Sigh)

But, there was one more thing to try -- and Michelle suggested it.  We went thrifting.  And this is what we found:

$14.99

Looked like it had never been worn.

Fit her perfectly.

She already has shoes to match.

Thank-you, God and all our heavenly patrons!

(Found it on the feast of St. Michael, Michelle's nameday.  We think St. Anthony must have had a hand in it, too, though... And maybe St. Anne and St. Philomena; we think they like helping out in girly things like this...)

*Do you suppose it'd be gauche to leave that tag hanging on it?  After looking at dresses not nearly as pretty ranging from $70 - $125, I totally feel the need to brag about the deal we got.  I guess I'm just weird that way.

* Don't worry, Michelle.  We can snip it off, really.  The world pretty much knows now, anyway, I suppose.

(Seriously, though, don't worry, friends... Shell doesn't mind me sharing this.  She's just as tickled about the find-- and where we found it -- as I am)