So...

I'd like to talk about grey hair.  It's been on my mind (or at least that general vicinity) lately. 

In fact, being solidly over the middle-age hump now, I have a lot of questions about the general effects of aging... like:

* How is it I seem to have a deeper "consternation" wrinkle between my eyebrows than I have a "shock and surprise" wrinkle across my forehead?  I've been thinking about it and I'm not sure that my sense of bewilderment has been that completely eclipsed by agitation.

* What's with the eyesight thing?  It's gotten to be a real problem not being able to see either road signs or a book right in front of my face.  I was just getting used to blurry distances when the age fairy stole my close-up vision, too.  What's with that?  Wouldn't it be so much nicer if the near-sightedness and the far-sightedness could just shake hands and meet in the middle -- and I could have 20/20 vision now instead of bifocals?

* Why are dimples cute on babies' knees and elbows but not on mine?

But, as I started saying...  The chief focus of my discontent right at the moment is really the grey hair problem.  On any given night, you can find one or another of my smaller children perched  behind me on the back of the living room couch picking at my head like a little baboon, seeking out and removing grey hairs.  (Or I should say "white" hairs, because mine come in sparkling, neon white. Or titaniam silver. Unmissable.)  A different child can take his or her turn every night of the week and the silver mining stays just as productive.  Silver hairs for everyone.  Woe is me.  It's become a worry that there will soon be too many to pluck out.  And I wouldn't rather be bald.  But, I just colored my hair a month ago and the blasted things are cropping up like weeds  again, already...  What's a woman to do?  How does this happen?

* How is it that a whole hair will sometimes go grey overnight?  How is it they don't start at the bottom and inch their way up like my dark roots?  Why are the children not plucking out half-dark, half-grey hairs?

* Why are most of my grey hairs right on my part where everyone can see them? How come they can't hide in that thick place in the middle of the back of my head?

* Will my eyebrows go grey, too?  And, if so, when?  And what do I do about that?  Just color over them with my eyebrow pencil or smudge some hair color on 'em when I'm touching up the grey on my head?

* Why is it that stress causes more grey hairs, but vacation doesn't take them away?

* Is it more graceful to allow myself to go completely grey gradually, or should I wait until my 65th birthday and just. suddenly dye my hair snow white? 

--- Maybe I'll get a mohawk, too.  Kevin would be jealous.