Prank Calls

Ring, Ring, Ring!

(snickersnickersnicker)

Click:

" Hello.  Piggly Wiggly." (A southeastern U.S. grocery chain.)

(Pause; the sound of breathing and muffled laughter...)

"Do you have Prince Edward?  In a can?"

"Let me check."  (Pause, pause, pause) "Yes, we do."

"Well, you better let him out before he suffocates!"  BWAHAHAHAHA!

Click.

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That one is a 1950s prank my mother tells us they pulled a few times before all the stores got wise to it.  But the following is a classic that we tried in the seventies:

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Ring, Ring, Ring!
Click:
"Hello"
"Hello?"

"Yes?"
 "How may I help you, Sir?"



"Excuse me, you're the one who just called me!'
"Sorry sir, but you just called me."
"No, you are the one who called me."
 "Who is this?"
"Who is that??"

Etc.,etc.,
The person may hang up or you might do so first.
You can call the same person up after some time and say...
"It's you again! I'm going to report you to the cops!"
Click.
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And then, there are these examples ~ every one a classic:
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Ring, Ring, Ring! 
 Click:
"Hi! Is your refigerator running?"
 If they say "Yes," tell them they'd better run and catch it. 
 But, if they've heard the joke before and say "No," reply:  Oh, well, this is Sears Home Repair Service, we'll be right over!"
Click.
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Ring, Ring, Ring!
Click:
"Hello, this is Denver International Airport's complimentary paging service.  Please speak clearly the name of the party you would like paged, followed by its spelling..."
"Yes, hello.  We're hoping to locate a Mr. Tabooger: T-A-B-O-O-G-E-R. Mr. Ollie Tabooger."

Or, alternatively: "Miss Huggenkiss: H-U-G-G-E-N-K-I-S-S.  Amanda Huggenkiss."
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Ring, Ring, Ring!
Click: 
"The Library Bar and Grill, Mike speaking."

"Yes. Hi.  I'm looking for someone I think is there, my buddy, Al...  Can you page him?  His name is  Mr. Coholic... Al Coholic."
Mike, overheard, saying to the people at the bar: "Is there an Al Coholic here?"
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Backstory:  A young man (a senior in high school) who is a dear family friend let slip on FB that he and oldest daughter, Michelle, had indulged in a little prank calling over the summer when we were all together.  Sheesh!  Like I wasn't going to see that, kids?  Seriously!  See what happens when  you friend a Mom on FB -- and then brag about prank calling?

Not only does she gets to reminiscing about all the prank calling she did as a youth, but she blogs about it.

Ha!
 But no worries, kids.  Though I cannot condone this behaviour and keep my parent-in-good-standing license, I have to say that prank calls are truly a right of passage.  They're the natural progeny of our pre-telephone ancestor's pranks.

 You know the sorts of things they did, don't you?  Back in my grandparent's day, bands of teenagers would switch cow herds from one farm to another in the middle of the night to see how long it took the farmers to notice.  Or they'd disassemble tractors and re-assemble them on the roofs of barns.  Or knock over outhouses.  Or city kids would completely block the entrances to storefronts or grease the front steps of apartment buildings... Yikes!  Can you imagine?

All things being relative, I'd say crank calls were a perfectly fine alternative.

But, don't call me, 'cause I just might turn the tables on you, kids.

Hugs and a Shout Out to Omar and his partners in crime.  You're over this stage, right? 
Warning to all Davis children and friends of Davis children under 16:  I never said any of the above. And I'm gonna be really annoyed if I hear you've tried any of these pranks.  Let it be known!