Football and Husbands

I am a football widow and my daughters are orphans.

My husband is a football fan, a big numbers guy, and works in Vegas.  Do I need to say more?  I don't even know what a parlay is, but I know he's got great hopes for one.  And he's been eating off of his winnings for the last seven weeks.  So, yeah.  I guess I can't complain.  My very prudent spouse never bets with money he doesn't have to lose, and he never bets on something he's not pretty darn sure he'll win.  So, he and his Dad and our sons Paul and Kevin are bonding over bets he puts down on football games in Vegas.  It's all they talk about when they're together, all they text about when they're not together.  Stats. Injuries. Speculations. Odds.

We girls are like, "Huh?"  Sunday afternoons, we go down to the rec room where the tv is jerry-rigged to a wire, snaked out the corner of the window up to the rabbit ears precariously balanced on

the roof.  The eyeballs of any males in the house, youngest to oldest, are riveted to the television screen. All except for William, maybe, who's usually having a battle with various action figures and chess guys on the table down there, glancing up occasionally to check on the game's progress. Which is what we do. We're checking, but not so much on the games.  We're checking on the boys.  Making sure they're still with us.

 "Who's playing this one?" we ask. Not like it matters that much to us unless it's the Broncos, actually, but we like to pretend to be courteous -- and make sure the men haven't zoned out into football comas.

Distractedly (eyes not leaving the screen) they tell us the score. We ask, "Do we care who wins this one?"  Then we glaze over and pick at our manicures while they explain by how much which team needs to win in order to figure into some complicated gambling schematic that none of us girls will ever understand.  We just wait 'til the end of the long explanation and ask if Daddy will be eating Taco Bell or steak this week.

So, yeah...  It's what we do on Sunday afternoons -- which I can't complain about if it's buying my husband lunch.  And, really, I can't say a word when he comes home from Mass and cooks us all Sunday morning breakfast first. Then sits next to me during the game and tolerates me just grunting at his exclamations of football-play joy or dismay -- while I play on my laptop.

What rests the mind and buoys the spirit differs from one person to another. And that's OK.

Viva la difference!  

And Go Broncos!! 

“And he said unto them,
 'The sabbath was made for man,and not man for the sabbath.'" 
 Mark 2:27

“God will not supply every want; but He will supply every need.

 The trouble is that we want what we do not need....

Prayer is not the breaking down of the reluctance of God;

 it is rather the opening of a door.

 ‘Behold I stand at the door and knock’. 

The latch is on our side and not His.

 Prayer opens that door.”

 Archbishop Fulton Sheen (Wartime Prayer Book)

Meanwhile, Back at the Davises...

Well, sort of anyway...

The other day on FB my friend, Cheryle, shared a blog post written by a recent widow, and it was some of  the best inspiration I've ever read for improving my "wife life."  A must read!  Eloquently and succinctly, the writer, a mother of ten and wife of thirty-five years, lists all the things she wished she'd understood about her husband while he was alive. It's an enlightening, humbling read. (Seriously. If you have a husband, go read it!)

Dan and me,
so long ago, the photo is pixilated.

In a nutshell, though, this wise woman points out how easy it is as women to get so wrapped up in our own needs and wants, frustrations and wishes that we forget to consider our husband's challenges and feelings.

Just between you and me: I know I've been guilty of this. I haven't realized how much so until recently but reading the list really struck home ... 

We've had a difficult couple of years in our family.  Dan lost his job in eastern Colorado a little over three years ago then used his severance package to try to start a small business with a friend.  The small business didn't work out, but, thank Divine Providence and Dan's good sense and skill, the investments that he'd also made with some of the money paid good dividends and we were able to make ends meet comfortably until about a year ago when the writing was on the wall that he really had to get back into the general labor force.  Many can attest that this is a proposition easier said than done these days.

And just between you and me: We've tried to shield the kids from the bulk of the stress, but none of this crazy ride has been easy for any of us.  Through all our employment woes these last few years, I think I had an idea of how hard it was on Dan to lose his job then suffer the failure of his start-up, but, if I'm going to be perfectly honest I have to admit I've been more consumed with worry over how each of the dips and turns affected me -- and the lifestyle I wanted for us -- than how the responsibility of everything weighed on Dan, specifically. 

But we thought everything would get easier when Dan got a regular job again, "working for the man."  So, he diligently searched.  He looked here in the valley where we live; he looked in the Denver area; he looked everywhere there was a church to attend.  And out of the bazillion lines he cast into the job market, he eventually got a couple of 'bites,' but go figure, the job he ended up landing was in the last place on earth I have ever wanted to live.  I've said it many times over the years how I would never live in this place, and, it seems I jinxed myself by so doing... or, more likely, gave God the perfect place to challenge me to win grace.

But, really, just between you and me: What better antidote for a "scenic-view-addiction" could He possibly have found for me?  And what better therapy for my self-centered inclinations in the long run....   

You know where Dan got the job, right? Las Vegas.

Yeah. Just between you and me: 'Not-so-fabulous Las Vegas.'  Sin City.  The ugliest place on earth.  The place where I've always joked that God would likely put me to spend my Purgatory: Nevada...  in the desert... in a single-wide trailer... with no air conditioning... sports radio droning incessantly in the background.  But I digress...

We decided not to move the whole family there in the hopes that something better would come up on the job front, but it's been a year now with no new leads and Dan's been making the nine hour commute from Vegas, home, and back every weekend.  Thank the good Lord he has a four day work week at least, so we see him a good two and half days instead of only one and a half!

Just between you and me: Woohoo, huh?

But, honestly, it's been a good job in a lot of ways. Some weekends he's able to catch the cheap commuter flight home, saving wear and tear on him and his car. He likes the people he works with and he's good at the work he's doing (though he finds it pretty unchallenging). And, yeah, it pays the bills.  Or, it would...  if my poor husband didn't have to pay to live in a hotel four days a week (the cheapest hotel that's still safe in Vegas), and if he didn't have to fork it over for the gas to commute (which has been a killer).  So, yeah, the job obviously doesn't work for us on a lot of levels.  Needless to say, we've hated the separation most of all, and Dan doesn't like Vegas any more than I do... so we've continued searching all this time for a better job in a better place -- preferably here in the valley.  But with no luck.

Just between you and me: All this time I've been hoping and praying, and praying and hoping, and wrapping all my plans around the family staying right here, where it's pretty, where we're comfortable, where we feel safe -- where I personally like to be...  Regardless of the stress it's putting on my husband. For a long time, I didn't even consider anything else.

But, you know how sometimes God sends a postcard?  Sometimes it's a passive exclamation instead of a subtle signal grace.  Sometimes He just keeps saying "No" until we change our question.

So, we've decided it's time to do just that; we're going to make a stab at changing our approach.  Instead of Mohammed getting to come back to the Mountain.  We're moving the Mountain to Mohammed.  We're pulling up stakes, striking camp here in Western Colorado, and unless something dramatic happens soon to change our forward momentum, we're moving the family to Las Vegas to be with Dan.

Just between you and me: Wow. Can't believe I just wrote that out loud.

No worries if it's a misstep. We know from experience that if this move isn't part of His plan, God will throw a monkey wrench into the works and stop us, and we'll just try putting our collective foot out in another direction.

Just between you and me:  I can't say I'm not scanning the horizon for a flying monkey wrench.

(What is that: the third or fourth metaphor I've mixed into the pot?  And are you getting sick of the "just between you and me" bit yet?)

But, it's all good. If it's God's will that we be in Las Vegas (of all places!), then we'll go to LasVegas -- and doggoned if we won't make something good out of it.  We will learn to love the desert.  Or, um...  maybe just not hate it, anyway.  (Likely we'll be taking lots of drives to California to hang out at the beach in order to tolerate Nevada.)

But, really, just between us:  hopefully I'll finally learn not to be so hung up about what I want that I miss what God wants. And what my husband needs.

This past year while the family's been in our comfortable house enjoying one another's company in beautiful Colorado, Dan's been stuck working in an ugly city, staying most of the week in a dusty hotel with nobody he loves near him.  Not fair; not right.  He needs us and we need him.  And the kids and I are determined to fix it.  Even if it has to be in Las Vegas (of all places!)  Because we love him that much.  And he's worth it.




Just watch: 
We'll make lemonade out of sand and neon lights. 

And we do continue to pray that this is not our last move!  Hope springs eternal!  There's got to be a good job for Dan someplace out there close to Mass that's also pretty, right?  (If not Colorado, I'm personally voting for Idaho...  We'll see what God's thinking.)

Check this out.  An oldy but a goody.

 The first song  sort of sums it all up...

Video made by (now 26 year old) Paul for our

twentieth wedding anniversary, six years ago.

(The children all look so little in this! Holy cow!

How things have changed -- and yet stayed the same!)

The Feast of St. Margaret Mary



Image from here.

The Life, Letters, and Promises of St. Margaret Mary,
the visionary of the Sacred Heart!

The Sacred Heart of Jesus:
A Salutation Prayer by Saint Margaret Mary Alacoque

Hail, Heart of Jesus, save me!
Hail, Heart of my Creator, perfect me!
Hail, Heart of my Saviour, deliver me!
Hail, Heart of my Judge, grant me pardon!
Hail, Heart of my Father, govern me!
Hail, Heart of my Spouse, grant me love!
Hail, Heart of my Master, teach me!
Hail, Heart of my King, be my crown!
Hail, Heart of my Benefactor, enrich me!
Hail, Heart of my Shepherd, guard me!
Hail, Heart of my Friend, comfort me!
Hail, Heart of my Brother, stay with me!
Hail, Heart of the Child Jesus, draw me to Thyself!
Hail, Heart of Jesus dying on the Cross, redeem me!
Hail, Heart of Jesus in all Thy states, give Thyself to me!
Hail, Heart of incomparable goodness, have mercy on me!
Hail, Heart of splendor, shine within me!
Hail, most loving Heart, inflame me!
Hail, most merciful Heart, work within me!
Hail, most humble Heart, dwell within me!
Hail, most patient Heart, support me!
Hail, most faithful Heart, be my reward!
Hail, most admirable and most worthy Heart, bless me!

Sacred Heart of Jesus  Prayer from The Raccolta

O Divine Heart of Jesus, grant, I beseech Thee, eternal rest to the souls in purgatory, final grace to all who are to die today, true repentance to sinners, the light of faith to pagans, Thy blessing to me and to all who are mine.
To Thee, O most loving Heart of Jesus, do I therefore commend all these souls, and for them I offer all Thy merits, together with the merits of the most Blessed Mother and of all the saints and angels, and also together with all the Sacrifices of the Mass, the Holy Communions, the prayers and good works that are made today throughout the entire Christian world.

To Celebrate the Day:

Catholic Cuisine has a number of good ideas, mostly sweet, but a couple savory, too, for feasting on this feast day -- using the image of the Sacred Heart in honor of St. Margaret Mary.  I think we'll start the day with the Sacred Heart toast and egg, then maybe do something with strawberries for dessert time!

* Craft ideas for the day: From St. Peter's List , Catholic Icing,  Catholic Mom


* A coloring page may be found here at Waltzing Matilda's, or the following print can be copied, as well; though the quality is a little 'pixilated' when enlarged too much, it works just fine in 'holy card' size:

Happy Nameday to all the Margaret Marys out there -- especially my cousin, Micki!

Sweet Heart of Jesus, be my salvation!

St. Margaret Mary, Pray for us!

Feast of St. Teresa of Avila, October 15th

Words of St. Teresa:

Be gentle to all and stern with yourself.

Let nothing disturb thee; Let nothing dismay thee; All things pass; god never changes.  Patience attains all that it strives for.  he who has God finds he lacks nothing; God alone suffices.

What great favor God does to those he places in the company of good people!

The feeling remains that God is on the journey, too.

To have courage for whatever comes in life - everything lies in that.

We can only learn to know ourselves and do what we can - namely, surrender our will and fulfill God's will in us.

Pain is never permanent.

There are more tears shed over answered prayers than over unanswered prayers.

God has been very good to me, for I never dwell upon anything wrong which a person has done, so as to remember it afterwards. If I do remember it, I always see some other virtue in that person. 

When they say... that someone is a saint, it's bound to be nonsense.

 To reach something good it is very useful to have gone astray, and thus acquire experience. 

It is here, my daughters, that love is to be found - not hidden away in corners but in the midst of occasions of sin. And believe me, although we may more often fail and commit small lapses, our gain will be incomparably the greater. 


Facts Concering St. Teresa of Avila:

Virgin and Doctor of the Church
Born	March 28, 1515 Ávila, Crown of Castile (todaySpain)
Died	October 4, 1582 (aged 67)[1] Alba de Tormes, Salamanca, Spain
Honored in	Roman Catholic Church Lutheran Church[2][3] Anglican Communion
Beatified	April 24, 1614, Rome by Pope Paul V
Canonized	March 12, 1622, Rome by Pope Gregory XV
Major shrine	Convent of the Annunciation, Alba de Tormes, Spain
Feast	October 15
Attributes	habit of the Discalced Carmelites, Book and Quill, arrow-pierced heart
Patronage	bodily ills; headaches; chess; lacemakers; laceworkers; loss of parents; people in need of grace; people in religious orders; people ridiculed for their piety; Pozega,Croatia; sick people; sickness;Spain

* Compliments of Wikipedia

+ Here is an easy-to-read version of her life online.
+ And a more in-dept online version here.
+ But, the best way to get to know St. Teresa is to read her own words. Here's a short list of her writings:

The Book of Life (1562)

The Way of Perfection (1566)

Interior Castle/The Mansions (1580)

Foundations (completed 1582)

+  St. Teresa also wrote many meditations, prayers, and hymns for the benefit of the nuns of her Order. She wrote, as well, thousands of letters to the Carmelite friars and to the clerics and laity who were her benefactors. 450 of these letters are known to be still in existence.

+ You can find several of St. Teresa's works to read online, here.

Ways to Celebrate the Feast Day:

+ Some tasty ideas from Catholic Cuisine can be found here.

Coloring Pages:  

+ See below a lovely simple one, compliments of Charlotte at Waltzing Matilda, which can be downloaded here.

+ And then there's this one:

A little bit of a scary picture, depicting the demons tempting St. Teresa ....  But I bet this is the one my children will choose to color...

Dear St. Teresa of Avila, pray for us!!

To Dan

We wish you were here.

I

I see the moon, the moon sees me

shining through the leaves of the old oak tree

Oh, let the light that shines on me

shine on the one I love.

Over the mountain, over the sea,

back where my heart is longing to be

Oh, let the light that shines on me

shine on the one I love.

I hear the lark, the lark hears me

singing from the leaves of the old oak tree

Oh, let the lark that sings to me

sing to the one I love,

Over the mountains, over the sea

back where my heart is longing to be

Oh, let the lark that sings to me

sing to the one I love.

Wait a While or Walk A Mile

Within a couple of days of the children's trip (Dominic, Anna, and Catherine) with me up Red Mountain Pass (to the Ghost Town area hike), I went up again with Dan -- and, boy oh boy, had the scenery changed -- especially up top!

 

Add caption

Isn't it beautiful!?  God knows how to put on an Autumn Show here in Colorado!

Chivalry

The Dominic Davis 'Chivalry Is Not Dead' Log Bridge, Ironton Ghost Town, CO
No toll.  Feel free to use it if you're in the neighborhood.

“Knighthood lies above eternity; it doesn’t live off fame, but rather deeds.” 
― Dejan Stojanovic, The Sun Watches the Sun

*

My son, Dominic, one of my many knights.

Off on his quest at the seminary.

We MISS his face.