I think we women need to start up a Fantasy Shopping League.
The rules would be a little different from our husbands' sports fantasy leagues, but the idea would be the same. The competition would be to see what Fantasy Shopper could save the most money per key shopping season. Here's how it would work: Instead of bidding for players to build a team, we'd bid for stores and specific items during certain time periods. The seasons would overlap, of course; Christmas shopping necessarily overlaps with ski vacation shopping, and end-of-summer sales bump into school start-up shopping. But that can't be helped. It's how the thing has evolved over time and we should be sensitive to the Department Stores bottom lines, of course. We wouldn't expect the retail chains to space their sales out for shopper recovery time or to appease our husband's wallet-sensitivity.
Once we got thing rolling, we could arrange to have sales bulletins texted to our phones and blackberries; and there would have to be an internet site devoted to tallying all the Fantasy Shoppers' savings. We would have to spend weeks researching shopping trends and loss leaders before we bid for our seasons' shopping routes. This would require copious amounts of footwork in the field, scanning of sales papers, and trolling on the internet. Then, when we're off and running, we'll get up at five in the morning to check our stats! And drop by the computer every time we pass it to see what we might be missing. What fun it would be just watching those savings add up in our ledgers! We could call our girlfriends at all hours to announce our savings and commiserate on our losses. There would be snipers and cheerleaders, rivalries and clandestine alliances. What a great chance for female bonding! It would occupy our every waking moment: shopping and thoughts of shopping, real and fantasy. =sigh= Wouldn't it be lovely?
And I'm sure our husbands wouldn't mind the time and money we'd spend more than we mind the time and attention they spend on their sports fantasy leagues. Certainly not! They'd be fine with it, wouldn't they?
What do ya think?
"A woman is a creature that's always shopping"
~ Ovid (43 B.C. - A.D. 18)
* I'm just kiddin' y'all... I don't really want to start a Fantasy Shopping League. I'm just trying to provide a little relativity to certain sports fantasy league players I know... Bless their baseball shaped little hearts.