Jumping Off Swings

My brother, Greg (God rest his soul), and I used to do this. It's what we thought swings were for! What good was "back and forth, back and forth, back and forth," with no SSWWOOSH! and a glorious moment of weightless freedom -- before you crashed down into the dirt -- and twisted your ankle?

Remember the flat-seated swings? You don't see them any more; I expect they're casualty of our hyper-cautious Western world, but they worked far better for launching yourself out of than today's "sling" seats. I mean -- no kidding -- shooting out of the old-fashioned swings at the top of the arc, you were a rocket! For a minute. And then you had to scramble out of the way before the hard wooden seat swung back down and cracked you on the head...!

Talk about fun! What do kids these days know about the thrill of near-concussions?

It's a wonder we survived, but I think we're the better for it, my generation and the playground hooligans before mine.  There's something to be said for calculated (or not so calculated) risk taking -- and learning from your own mistakes the hard way.

Not that good parents shouldn't protect their children, mind you. Especially as concerns their innocence, we have to be almost obsessively vigilant -- and we can't just let them run wild and free around most neighborhoods. It's just not safe to do that any more. But, they do need to have the apron strings loose enough that they can learn to find their own ways in the world. Good parenting means sometimes stepping back and watching our kids jump out of the swing.

They need to find out, for instance, that if they don't study and do their homework, they'll flunk -- and nobody is going to smooth it over for them, turn a blind eye, and pass them forward.  They'll be humiliated. They'll have wasted a whole year. But it was their responsibility and no one else's -- and they have to suffer the consequences, or they'll go through life expecting to be passed forward without doing the work to deserve it. That's a terribly big fat wooden swing seat to get hit with. It's the sad kid that learns to duck it by getting hit -- but it's a lesson they'll learn to take seriously.

If a kid gets into an argument with his friends, he can and should receive counsel from his parents, of course, but it's up to him to learn to be the  diplomat -- or find out how lonely it is to be an outcast. Straighten out your own affairs, kiddo, or get hit in the head with the swing.

If a girl spends all her allowance on Amazon and doesn't have enough money to go to the movies
with her friends, well, darn: Mom and Dad may be sad for her, but they shouldn't gift her the funds or lend from next month. Don't teach your child to be credit dependent; if she's a good kid and just didn't expect to need to save for a treat, make her work for movie money.  How will she learn to be financially prudent if she expects to be somehow always magically bailed out? You may be the one getting hit with the swing!

There are many examples of responsibility and just plain old common sense that are very often best taught by watchfully allowing our children to suffer the consequences of their failures.  And... there are an equal number of examples of things that just aren't worth the hassle for Mom and Dad. For instance, making elementary school children responsible for the location of their own shoes -- the hard way -- never works; they'd just as soon go barefoot. And if the pets don't get fed, they starve. Choose your lessons wisely!

Personal responsibility and self discipline really must be taught, though. They don't come naturally to most. We can see that in our own daily interactions and by reading the news.  For children to grow up and  succeed in the world and, more importantly, save their souls, they must learn that there are consequences to their actions and omissions. We have to let there be consequences. Sometimes we have to let them get hit with the swing for them to appreciate the intense satisfaction of running a victory lap around the swing set after NOT being hit.

Candlemas Day Tomorrow!

(Luke II. 22-32.) At that time, After the days of Mary's purification, according to the law of Moses, were accomplished, they carried Jesus to Jerusalem, to present him to the Lord, as it is written in the law of the Lord: Every male opening the womb shall be called holy to the Lord. And to offer a sacrifice, according as it is written in the law of the Lord, a pair of turtle doves, or two young pigeons. And behold, there was a man in Jerusalem named Simeon, and this man was just and devout, waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Ghost was in him. And he had received an answer from the Holy Ghost, that he should not see death, before he had seen the Christ of the Lord. And he came by the Spirit into the temple. And when his parents brought in the child Jesus, to do for him according to the custom of the law: he also took him into his arms, and blessed God, and said: Now thou dost dismiss thy servant, O Lord, according to thy word, in peace: Because my eyes have seen thy salvation: which thou hast prepared before the face of all peoples: a light to the revelation of the Gentiles, and the glory of thy people Israel.

Though most of us have long since put behind us all thought of candy canes and tinsel, tomorrow's feast actually marks the official end of the Christmas season. The precious days of Jesus' infancy hidden in the peace and security of Mary's confinement are coming to an end, with tomorrow marking His "introduction" to the world.  In the days when the Holy Family walked the earth, it was the custom for new mothers to go to the Temple to be declared officially "pure" forty days after the birth of a child (Lev. XII), and if that child was a firstborn son, it was Jewish law that the parents offer him officially to God at that time in order to show gratitude for the angel's sparing of the first-born of the Jews at the the time of Moses. (Exodus XII. 12)  Then, to redeem the child back from the Temple (Exodus XIII, 13), the parents offered a gift to be sacrificed in exchange, usually a lamb -- but if the family was poor, as Jesus' family was, a pair of turtle doves were sufficient.

 I love to imagine the Holy Family walking down a cobblestone road on the way to the Temple, the Infant Jesus bundled up and held close to the heart of His Mother, the turtle doves carried by good St. Joseph in a cage he made himself.  I wonder if anyone around them felt a spiritual nudge when the Infant Saviour passed by them? I wonder if I would have known it was the Holy Family passing by if I'd been there?

What a thought, though  -- that Jesus' parents, out of obedience to tradition, offered Him to the Jewish Temple, but then "bought Him back" with doves -- the symbol of peace.  In obedience and humility, Mary and Joseph fulfilled their  responsibility to the Mosaic Law that day, but the joy of the occasion was tempered when, upon meeting the prophet Simeon, Our Blessed Mother was reminded of the sorrows to come -- that her heart would be pierced with a sword.   Beauty and promise and sorrow that day were wrapped up together like the mysteries of the rosary, with the glory-to-come a glimmer in the eye of that bundled up Baby Boy.

Traditional Prayer for the Feast of the Presentation

Heavenly Father! look down from Thy throne of mercy upon the face of Thy Anointed in whom Thou art well pleased. Behold, He is this day offered to Thee in the temple for the sins of His brethren. Let this offering please Thee, and move Thee to have compassion on us sinners. In consideration of His humility and obedience, forgive us our pride and disobedience, and grant us, that purified by His blood, we may one day, having like Simeon departed this life in peace, behold Thee as the eternal Light which shall never be extinguished in the temple of Thy glory, be presented to Thee by Mary, our beloved Mother, and love and praise Thee forever. Amen.

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There are many ways to celebrate this Feast. If you're lucky (or I should say blessed!), you will be able to attend the candle blessing ceremonies at your parish and have some candles blessed to bring home, as it's become the custom on this day to bless the candles used throughout the year in the Church's ceremonies.  If you're unable to start the day in this way, though, you can start the day with a pious commemoration, lighting candles on your family altar, or before an image of the Holy Family and say the prayer printed above or simply read from the prayers of the Mass for the day. 

Then plan other fun things to imprint memories of the day for the children!

Many cultures have perfectly wonderful celebrations to make this day special.  I mentioned many in this post a couple years ago, and linked to some more that included the history of the blessing of candles on this day -- as well as the customary crepe or pancake dinners -- in this post.  Catholic Cuisine is always a wonderful resource, with a list of links for many different recipes and feastday dinners, as well as a lovely idea for a Candlemas Tea!   Lacy at  Catholic Icing also has some wonderful ideas for celebrating the day in crafts and goodies.

And then there are always coloring pages! The following prints, in the public domain, may be used to color: just click and copy to your computer, then print.

As the Feast of the Presentation officially ends the Christmas Season, we list it on our mental calendars as "last call" for removing all our Christmas decorations.  Usually, by the second week after the Big Day, we've started taking down the peripheral garlands and wreaths; then, through the next month, we take down a little more and a little more until we reach "center" which is our big Nativity scene.  Nobody ever wants to tackle this chore.  It's a big to do, let me tell you! But by this time, we've also developed an emotional attachment to our pretty stable, with its trees and rocks and bridges, the little animals, the sheep, the Holy Family... It's a letdown for us all, removing it from its place of honor.  Nevertheless, by the first of February, we know we have to tackle it.  And it usually turns out that we're more ready than we think we are for the change.

Before:

It only took two or three hours today to get the whole landscape and the fragile figurines taken down and packed carefully away, then a little while longer to wipe and vacuum up all the debris left behind. We're a little sad to see it go; the family room seems a little empty now!  But, there's also a sense of satisfaction in having it all finished -- and the lack of clutter, the feeling of "airiness," and cleanness feels kinda good!  It feels like we've taken the first step to a good spring cleaning.  It's a sort of "purification" that we've begun. All right, and good, and in the proper season.  A hint of things to come.

After:

I looked it up, by the way: as of today, February 1st, we have 16 days until Ash Wednesday, and 62 days until Easter...