Thirty-three Years Ago...

Lisa and Dan

April, 1987

* The closest thing to a cellphone was a Star Trek communicator; everyone had pagers and telephone answering machines for their landlines to try to keep in touch; the internet was a thing -- but not much of a thing yet; nobody we knew had an e-mail account.

* Cable TV was cutting edge and considered racy and dangerous; MTV was all the rage; televisions were fat and boxy; only VHS tapes -- no dvds or blueray.

* Dan was finishing up his bachelors degree in accounting at the University of Denver, before going on to achieve his Masters degree in Business, while working at the DU sports department and editing the sports pages at the school paper; I was just finishing off a year as the editor-in-chief of the school paper and half-way through my senior year, with a triple major in English, but I never did graduate and get the piece of paper. I went on, instead, to get married, have our first baby -- then advanced to the higher degree of Homemaker and "Superfamily Mom" of ten.

* Top grossing movies at the box office: Three Men and a Baby (Tom Sellek, Ted Danson, Steve Gutenberg); Lethal Weapon (Mel Gibson & Danny Glover), Fatal Attraction (Glenn Close & Michael Douglas), and The Untouchables (Kevin Kostner & Sean Connery).

* Top Forty Pop hits of the year were: Walk Like an Egyptian (The Bangles), Alone (Heart), and I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Whitney Houston)' Michael Jackson's album Bad hit the shelves in this year.

* In news: Reagan's famous "Berlin Wall" speech in west Berlin; DNA evidence was used for the first time to convict a criminal; there was a significant global stock market crash (22.6% drop in one day in October; televangelist, Jim Baker, mired in scandal; first ever episode of The Simpsons; work on the "Chunnel" began; disposable contact lenses first marketed; one second removed from clocks worldwide to adjust the Gregorian calendar; Margaret Thatcher won seat as prime minister of UK for the third time; Fox Broadcasting Company made its debut.

* In fashion: tassel loafers, Doc Martins, and boat shoes; patterned knit sweaters (ala Dr. Huxtable in the popular Cosby Show); parachute pants; bangle watches; "big shirts" and stirrup leggings; padded shoulders (men and women); preppy, button-down, pastels; alternatively, the Goth look; big hair; mullets; beards out/mustaches in; Don Johnson "stubble" look.

Lisa and Dan

April, 2020

Now: May, 2020

* Dan and I both have smartphones and very often wish we didn't. They certainly don't make us smarter. FYI for anyone who doesn't already know: I never ever check my cellphone messages (just like I never remembered to check my answering machine in the '90s): leave me a text if you want to get ahold of me. ;)

* We have Netflix and Amazon Prime movies on our "smart" TV -- sort of by default -- but almost never find anything decent to watch on them -- and very often default to our own dvd collection, if we watch anything at all; have two flat-screen televisions, though, and a projector with a big screen that we could pull down in the pub if we wanted to (but we never do; not sure it's even hooked up...); most often, we listen to podcasts, sermons, or books on tape while doing housework or whatever.

 * Last movies we went to see in a theater: Knives Out (loved it -- but with caveats); Dr. Doolittle (eh.) Looking forward to Death on the Nile this fall!

* In fashion in *our* world: button down shirts and khakis or blue jeans (Dan); ankle-length skirts and anything green (me); princess dresses (the seven granddaughters).

* Top musical hits in our house: The soundtrack to Murder on the Orient Express and A Beautiful Mind; In Praise of Mary (Mater Dei Men's Choir); Patty Page tunes on my Amazon playlist; Cathy and Anna (and anyone else who comes by) always eventually rolling into some kind of harmony somewhere -- either over dishes at the sink or around the piano or campfire.

* In world news: Everything coronavirus -- though we're trying to ignore it (trying, anyway; not succeeding); the upcoming presidential election (rooting for Trump, of course, and worried about the nefarious powers out to take control); all that is or is not pertinent about Q-anon 

* In real news: Mass and the Holy Eucharist available again in Omaha with more minimal restrictions a week from Monday (Woot!); two new grandbabies due this summer (Michelle and Ben expecting a little boy in June -- after three girls! And Dominic and Monica expecting their second little girl in August -- which will add up to 10 grandchildren!); Anna graduated from high school - sorta! -- hope to get her class together this fall maybe -- and have a real graduation ceremony for them!); our little terrier/bichon, Dawsey, drinking my coffee whenever I turn my head (the little stinker); the front porch rebuild by Dominic, Anna, and Isabel M during Holy Week -- and how we now have to rebuild or remove the old planters that used to front it; how our vegetable garden still needs completed planning and planting; our new (to us) car -- a VW Passat turbo diesel (fun to drive!); gearing up for the "make-good" wedding reception for Cathy and Louis (married April 4th) in October (it's going to be a blast!); and, last but not least, Dan's and my anniversary trip to Arkansas next week, to a cabin in the woods, with no wifi, where we won't have a choice but to be unplugged -- and happily miss out on all the news except where we're going to hike and what we're going to grill for dinner!

 What We've Learned in 33 Years of Marriage

Dan:

- A good marriage starts by choosing well.  But it is more about perseverance and hard work.

- "Conquering" marriage begins with conquering yourself.

- A truly great marriage is one of constant renewal and rediscovery.

- If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

- Marriage is a life of hard work, but it's important for husband and wife to each take time to get away and recharge.

- You should be well acquainted with your spouse's temperament and love language by no later than your wedding day.

- You're not marrying a person, you're marrying an indelible family culture.  Choose wisely.  Guys, if your wife-to-be had a dysfunctional relationship with her father, she'll bring that dysfunction into your marriage.

- Fortunately for me, I have a wife who adored and respected her father.

- A woman's affections run deep, but are also fleeting.  Don't ever think that something wonderful that you do today, "should last her for awhile".  She'll reset the scoreboard again tomorrow morning, if not sooner.

- Done right, marriage is the closest thing to Heaven this world has to offer.  Done poorly, it is about two doors down from Hell itself.

Lisa:

It really is all about the little things. 

Don't sweat them when they're annoying; they could be just the ticket to perfecting some fault of your own -- or take time off of Purgatory for you -- but one thing's sure, if you pelt your husband and children with them, they'll eventually tune you out, and then where will you be?

It's especially important to make a habit of noticing the beautiful little things, though, like how your husband's face lights up when he plays with his children -- or grandchildren, or when he warms up the car for you on cold Sunday mornings before Mass; or how he'll bring you a glass of wine, even when he doesn't want one himself; or how he leads family prayers; or how he never forgets to kiss you goodbye; or the funny way he pronounces orange; or how your hand fits in his hand like a hug; or how he says your name (when he remembers your name's not Mommy), and a million other little ways he shows his love -- aside from how he pays the bills and keeps the whole family fed and safe.

 Gosh, but it's easy to remark only on the annoyances of life. It's such a rut to get into, and believe me, not a good one for anyone. If there's one thing I've found out the hard way (and still haven't mastered), it's to notice -- and comment! --  on all the little good things -- fifty times more than you point out the annoying little things. (Really. Keep count!) And for every fifty good  little things your spouse adds to your life, make sure you add at least 50 more.

God is in the details. If you take care of the little things, He takes care of the big things.

Lisa and Dan

May 2nd, 1987

I love you, Dan.

After 33 years,

I love you still;

Always have,

Always will!

Anniversary Prayer

O Lord, omnipotent and eternal God, 

we give you thanks and we bless your holy name. 

You created man and woman in your image and blessed their union, 

so that each would be for the other a help and support. 

Remember us today. 

Protect us and grant that our love may be in the image 

of the devotion and love of Christ for his Church. 

Grant us a long and fruitful life together, in joy and in peace,

so that, through your Son and in the Holy Spirit, 

our hearts may always rise to you in praise and goods works. 

Amen.

Something else we've both learned: