Haiku: The Family Omnibus

Our offerings:

From Dan

I'm dreaming of a

White Christmas -- right up until

Sidewalks need shoveled.

**

Wrapping paper piles

Children buzzing on sugar

Is it springtime yet?

**

If you have a heart,

Put an end to slave labor:
Help us free the elves!

**

Santa? Oh, who cares?

It's the booty that matters

On Christmas morning

**

A major award,

Glowing brightly from the street,

There for all to see.

**

Suppose that Santa

Is lactose intolerant

And diabetic?
~~

From me

Christmas tree needles

Working into the sofa

Prick butts at Easter.

**

Time to see who can

Blow out the Advent Candles

And burn their noses.

**

Kids singing off-key,

Getting all the lyrics wrong.

They are all groan deaf.

**

If they could just see

Underneath all of her clothes

Mom's in an elf suit.

**

Anna doesn't want

The Red Ryder Beebee Gun.

She likes bunny suits.

**

Where it's happenin:

In the living room doorway,

Mistletoe Central.

~~

From Paul

Depression, Pt. I

Family gathering

The presents and wrapping strewn,

The headach has come

**

Depression, Pt. II

The eggnog, the tree,

The presents and the snowmen,

Fights over presents.

**

Depression, Pt. III

The red truck is good

But the blue truck is better:

No one is happy.

**

Depression, Pt. IV

The lights are tangled.

they will never come undone.

Why did we save them?

**

Depression, Pt. V

Candy all over.

The kids have a sugar high.

Sugar everywhere.

**

Depression, Pt.VI

Santa Clause scares me --

He's an overweight prowler...

Why the big red suit?

**

Depression, Pt VII

Santa has reindeer,

but why not something cooler?

Polar bears maybe.

**

Depression, Pt. VIII

Santa is to me

What wins are to the Clippers:

Nothing but a myth.

Depression, Pt. IX

Blinking Christmas light,

Why do you torment me so?

Will you please stop it?

~~

Disclaimer:  My son, Paul is not a depressive fellow.  Really.  He's actually quite the good-time Charlie.  And, he's heading off to Mexico for ten days tomorrow morning, for heaven's sake!  And, seriously, Christmas around here is lots of fun -- regardless of the sugar highs and wrapping paper strewn everywhere.  Truly.  Really.  (I'm not kidding.)

Postscript:   Almost didn't have anything to contribute, but called an emergency session of the Davis Creative Think Tank to brainstorm after dinner tonight.  A good excuse for a good time and a good visit with Paul and Nicole before they turned in.  Didn't have time for pictures (except the mug shots and the elves) -- which pains me.  I so love illustrations!  But, we made it before the deadline.  Woohoo!  We may not be organized, but we can be silly on a dime. 

Etcetera:  I hilighted my favorites in green. (Mama's prerogative...)

Last, but most defintely not least:  Make sure and run over to Laura's and check out all the Bad Haiku contributions.  Cute, hysterical, the gamut!  A fun time!